Mid twenties crisis


Being in your twenties is like being at a party with no cake; you know you are going to have some fun along the way, but right at the end there’s no candles to blowout. No icing and sprinkles. Because at the end of that party you have to grow up. Or have a clear direction in your life. Or do you?

Burning the candle at both ends

Early twenties are pretty good. Just after your teens, slightly more clued up, you can go to clubs, be independent.  You can still pull all- nighters and be totally fine, after a full English and a Sprite. Then the midpoint sneaks up on you. 25. Suddenly your 5 years off 30 and your career isn’t set or you aren’t engaged or own your own house. Or have children. And your hangover last about 3 days. Bulk buying Alka seltzer just to feel human again. Then the panic sets in. Being a woman in your mid- twenties is confusing. As a 27 year- old woman myself, I’m feeling the pressure. Pressure to have some kind of life plan.

The one with the life goals

Scrolling through Facebook and seeing people you went to school with getting married, becoming fully qualified in their job or having a baby can be daunting. It makes you re- evaluate your own goals. As a mother of three children; I constantly worry about my career prospects. And I have friends that don’t have children yet that can almost hear their biological clock ticking.

 There’s an episode of friends where Rachel turns 30 and has a complete meltdown about that fact she isn’t married or had children. She chose the career route. Having many of the emotions that most women feel at some point, twenties being the poignant time. The decider decade.

Have your cake and eat it?

To be in an established career can take years. To be a qualified solicitor tales around 10 years. If you start at 18, do you begin thinking about having children at 28? You need to have time to settle into the job after training. And what about meeting the right man? Or if you have children young, at what point to you begin your career? When they start school? There’s so many questions. So many things to factor in. all the while trying to find yourself. Trying to decide who you are.

 Balancing a career and children is a minefield too. The guilt of when to return to work. When’s it ok to leave your child with a childminder or at nursery? you don’t want to leave your child, but you also want to be able to provide for them.

Enjoy the moment

Everybody has different ideas about what they want. And when. Being in your twenties is definitely a transitional decade. Going from seeing your friends constantly, sneaking out and having your first kiss in your teens, to becoming more grown up. There’s still a lot of figuring out to do. Still wild nights, new relationships, new jobs. Ultimately, you are on the road to becoming a responsible adult! Some earlier than others. It takes time. And trying new things. If I could talk to my younger self I’d tell myself to slow down, you don’t have to rush. you will get there.

Life doesn’t have to be a rigid plan. Things can fall into place. Everybody goes at a different pace. If you spend the whole time worrying about what you haven’t got or achieved yet, then you won’t enjoy the things you do have. Sometimes it’s better to enjoy the moments we are in rather than panic about what hasn’t happened yet.

by Claire Exley